By Falcon Eleven
This is it. November has come. From here on out the rest of the year will pass faster than a joint at a music festival. You have only a few weeks left to accomplish all the things you set out to do in 2021 (gasp!), and just in case that’s not enough of a challenge for you, let me remind you that we have now officially entered the dark vortex in the tornado of delirium that is otherwise known as the “Holiday Season”.
Let’s be honest, holidays are a mess! They’re chaos and joy all at the same time. There’s the shopping, the eating, the cleaning, the planning, the eating, the hosting, the drinking, the eating, the driving, the visiting, and of course, so much eating. The holidays drain you of energy and fill you with memories. They are exhausting in the best way. They are also the perfect opportunity to introduce cannabis to your non-smoking relatives!
Since there is still a huge stigma surrounding one of Pachamama’s best creations, proceeding gently is of the utmost importance. Passing them a blunt may be too much too soon, but with a little creativity you might find that adding a sprinkle of cannabis to the menu is just the thing you need to make this holiday season your best one yet! Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so, without further ado, here are a few different ways in which our good friend Mary Jane can make your Turkey Day a total success for newbies and OGs alike.
Turn your appetizers into edibles
Folks who enjoy making their own edibles typically go for the traditional sweet goodies: brownies, cookies, rice treats, chocolates, etc. While those are all perfectly delicious choices, they tend to be pretty potent, making it a really bad idea to have more than one. That’s a problem. Who wants to eat just one cookie?! Not me. I want six. Minimum.
On that note, remind me later to tell you about the time I ate too much medicated chocolate, re-lived my childhood for 5 hours and spent the greater part of 3 days in a blanketed reality. Would not recommend. Respect the dosage folks – MICRODOSE!!
So, here’s an idea: Leave the sweets alone and make savory edibles instead.
Usually, guests arrive well before dinner is ready, and they want munchies! I love walking into a house filled with the smell of a turkey cooking in the oven, but it also makes me sooo hungry. Bring out the chips and dips please! This year, how about making an extra special mix for the grown-ups in attendance? Add a little THC to that Guac with a dropper or two of Potli’s Cannabis-Infused EVOO, or to add a kick, their award-winning Potli’s Cannabis-Infused Sriracha (1st place in the Savory Edible category at the Emerald Cup!)
Your guests will love the light spice of this Vietnamese favorite, and it’ll enhance the mood of relaxed joy you’re looking for. If you’re not a fan of guacamole, this would work with crab dip, sour cream and onion dip, spinach dip and so many others. Just make sure to keep away from children, pay close attention to the dosage, and always inform your guests of the THC content before they dig in.
Offer cannabis cocktails
If serving edibles as appetizers seems a little too out there, try drinkables instead. For me, the feeling of being high is a little bit like the gentle buzz one gets from that first sip of wine or first few sips of beer. It’s not quite the same, but it’s the best way I can think to describe the feeling to someone who has not experienced it. It’s very…cozy. What I like about consuming cannabis is that, unlike alcohol, there’s no need to chase the buzz because it’s long-lasting. Personally, I actually prefer it.
Don’t get me wrong, I looove me a glass of red wine, but I find that the more I drink, the more I want to drink, which often results in me drinking more than I originally intended. And while it’s definitely possible to get too high, I find it much easier to prevent. (Again, RESPECT THE DOSAGE!) Plus, it doesn’t make me anywhere near as sleepy as alcohol does.
You know that one family member that starts drinking too early and is passed out on the recliner before dinner even starts? Have them try a cannabis cocktail! They’ll be feeling so nice and uplifted that chances are they won’t have the urge to drink as much. If you have guests who are a little hesitant, they can start as small as they want, like with one of CANN’s social tonics, which have wonderful flavors of fresh fruit and contain less than 2mg of THC per serving. For those who are feeling adventurous, check out these super cool cannabis cocktail recipe ideas. Bonus: Once the munchies set in, there is zero chance that your food will taste anything short of AMAZING!
Prevent the after-dinner belly blues
The only thing I know with absolute certainty about Thanksgiving dinner this year is that I’m going to eat too much. I know I shouldn’t, I know it never ends well, but I also know it’s already written. And I don’t think I’m alone here. I don’t have any fancy statistics as to the number of Americans who overeat on this particular holiday, but I do happen to be a bit of a math whiz and can tell you with 99% confidence that if: a=going to Thanksgiving dinner and b=being a person, then a+b will most definitely result in c, where c=a person who stuffed their face at Thanksgiving dinner.
Here’s the problem with overeating: it causes an inflammatory response within the body, which can cause great discomfort. You know the feeling. It’s that I-should’ve-stopped-two-slices-of-pie-and-three-scoops of-ice-cream-ago pain that has you groaning and rubbing your belly like a pregnant lady already on maternity leave. At this point, you’re full of both food and regret.
Enter CBD, THC’s studious, much more responsible cousin. This sweet little cannabinoid is thought to be a warrior when it comes to combatting inflammation. Before sitting down to dinner, pass a CBD tincture around the room like this one by Mary’s Medicinals. CBD is non-psychoactive, so A) it’s a lot less intimidating for newbies, and B) there’s no real danger of taking too much (although you should avoid it so as to not waste it), and it may just save everyone from the post-dinner belly blues.
Serve your guests an herbal digestif
Ok, this one is a bit of a bold move, but if you do it right, it should come across as cool and sophisticated, and – dare I say it?—a little sexy.
A digestif (pronounced dee-jhes-teef with a pretentious French accent) is traditionally an alcoholic beverage served after a large meal with the purpose of aiding digestion. But you won’t be serving alcohol.
The trick here is to act normal. Don’t get too excited. Keep your cool. Be confident. Channel your inner underage kid, in line at the club, right before they’re about to hand the bouncer their fake ID. Look them in the eye, but don’t make any sudden moves. You don’t want to spook them away.
Here’s what you’re gonna do:
After dinner, ask if anybody wants coffee. Tea will work as well. A little caffeine is also great for kick- starting the digestive system, plus holding a hot beverage while sitting by your nearest and dearest just feels like what the holidays are all about. The mood should be just right at this point. Everyone is full, happy, and ready for a little rest and relaxation.
Once the coffee has been served and everyone is settled, it’s time to make your move. Grab a bunch of pre-rolls – I suggest the mini-sized ones like this pack by Island– and place them in a small fancy serving dish. Then, cool as a cucumber, as though you have done this every year since forever ago, begin approaching your guests, and ask them if they care for an herbal digestif.
“A what?” they’ll ask. “What is this?”
Remember to keep eye contact.
“Oh, just a little cannabis to help with digestion. It goes great with coffee.”
That’s it. They’ll either want some, or they won’t. It’s okay if they don’t want to partake. That’s not even the goal. What you just did was normalize the heck out of that wondrous, miraculous plant that has been given a bad reputation for far too long. “You beautiful stoner! I’m so proud of you.”
So, there you go! I hope you found this article useful. Feel free to leave a comment if you have other ideas you’d like to share. I’d love to read them! And if you decide to use any of the suggestions above, definitely come back and let me know how it went! Stay tuned for Part Deux!
Lastly, I’d like to send a shout out to Indigenous Peoples across this land. Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not, I see you, and I honor you.